Back in Kansas

So, I guess it's been about a month already since the last post. I've been pretty busy - I'm back in Kansas, livin' it up. I missed the fam when I was up in Idaho, but definitely not the humidity. The awesome news is that I got back in town here just in time for all of my friends (or the last remaining KS residents) to leave - Jacob is in Lawrence for the month, and Adam is doing a medical program in India... and that's pretty much it.

In other news, I had the pleasure of going to the dentist today - probably my least favorite thing in the whole world. Everyone always says, "Oh it's so great going to the dentist! I just love leaving with my teeth all clean!" No. That's not generally how I feel when I leave the dentist's office. I feel brutalized. I feel violated, like I just paid to have someone rip up my gums with metal skewers and then proceed to berate me for not taking good enough care of them. I think that the hygenists want your mouth to be in perfect condition when you get there so they have a clean canvas on which to paint their portrait of pain (I've been pretty into alliteration lately). Now don't get me wrong, I don't go in there with crap in my teeth - I take very good care of my teeth. Partly because I would rather go back to China than have any kind of oral surgery (that's saying a lot), and partly because I don't want to get ragged on for not flossing when I go to the dentist. My dentist and the hygenist I normally get are really nice, but I'm pretty sensitive about the comments they make. Especially since they pretty much rate your effort over the last 6 months and they always put on this concerned/disappointed voice as if to convey the gravity of the situation. I floss every day and brush my teeth 2-3 times a day, so there's not a whole lot more I can do. And, they're sort of sending mixed messages since you always have to walk through the hall of horrors with all of the cautionary pictures of dental disfiguration just to get to the damned chair. But then, they have to do at most 30 seconds worth of cleaning before they polish (more like buff) and they still feel the need to make me feel like my teeth are rotting out of my head. Bitches. I just saw pictures of what it looks like when peoples' teeth are rotting out of their heads, and unless something changed pretty drastically from when I brushed my teeth this morning, I don't think I'm quite there yet. I'm not going to go into the whole awkward conversation tangent, because I feel like it's been pretty well covered over the last 150 years, but I will say that even when I do have a chance to actually say words (not just, "eeaooouow, eeehh hhooooll," or the like), I generally don't. Not because I'm rude or because I just sit there and pout, but because I don't like seeing someone perched over me, waiting to shove bloody meathooks back into my mouth while I wrap up my 5 word sentence about how rainy it's been lately. Bitches.

Speaking of bitches, in case you missed it, Clint Eastwood recently made Spike Lee his bitch by telling him to "Shut his face." Well said. Read the story over at Filmdrunk.com.