Don't See This Movie

"Be Kind Rewind" was dreadful. It was really one of the most disappointing movie experiences I can remember. Not only was it excruciatingly boring, but the completeness with which a decent vehicle for a decent comedian was squandered is staggering. Add to that the fact that I was able to discern about 10% of the words Mos Def mumbled, and you've got the biggest waste of 10 bucks ever. I know this isn't the most timely post (I saw this movie at least 3 months ago), but I'm still pretty pissed about it. The only good thing to come from this disaster of a movie is the new trend of "sweded" movies hitting the internet (months ago). And even this is only partly good - most of these online movies are terrible, though some are pretty amusing. I happened upon this sweded version of Star Wars a few weeks back. It made me laugh, especially during the dogfight scenes - the sound effects are hilarious. Do yourself a favor and give it a watch; it's only 1 minute and 47 seconds long. However, in my quest to bring you only the highest quality content, distilled from all of the worthless crap on the internet, I have decided to embed the video below. It's a sweded version of "Jurassic Park," a favorite of mine. While it starts a little slow, I really have to appreciate the time and energy put into the music, and it picks up pace nicely about half-way through. Hope you enjoy. Oh, and just to be clear, credit goes to Steven Seller, Nicholas Biggs, Sebastian Cowan and Laura Louise Hodgson (whoever they are), who were responsible for this movie.

Smells Like Thumbs Up

It's time for a very special thumbs up special (especially special this time!) - you can tell this is especially special because the image above is from Robot Jox (Two Men! Two Machines! Too Much!), perhaps the single greatest achievement of mankind, cinematic or otherwise. You'd be a fool not to watch the video below. Back to the point - I will abstain from too much personal political commentary on this one, but this thumbs up is political in nature, so get over it. This one goes to none other than Bill Moyer for retaining his hard-earned journalistic integrity and asking the tough questions when he interviewed the good Reverend Jeremiah Wright. You can tell from the picture below that Moyer feels like he really nailed this one (note the double fist pump and the fact that he's clearly saying, "Yessssss)), but I'm not sure I agree. I'll leave that for history to decide. Actually, no I won't - the whole interview was nothing but sycophantic ass-kissing. Feel free to tell me where I'm wrong.

I will say that I give major points for the way Mr. Obama handled this issue last week, saying that this is a legitimate issue - it is, and Write is not making it easy for Obama these days. But who wouldn't want to have a selfish, ego-maniacal loon as his spiritual adviser? Watch the clip below; if you've made it this far in the post, you deserve to turn your brain off for a few minutes.

I'm Back

So, out of curiosity, can you tell which of the above is Alan "Cata-" Colmes? I'm not sure - I'm trying to keep in mind the "Superman effect" wherein Clark Kent becomes Superman merely by removing his glasses... At any rate, I've been working on a few projects to herald my triumphant return to blogging, but I just wanted to whet your appetite with a few of the amazing things I've been coming across lately. I just discovered stumbleupon.com which is a pretty sweet site that you may have heard of - it allows you to download a toolbar, set preferences and then click a button to be randomly fed websites that meet the criteria for things you are interested in. Here are a few of the many cool things I've come across in the last few days (posted in accordance to what a blog should be - that's right, I'm linking to material you can find not only in my own blog, but directly below this post):

Firstly, I've been feeling pretty stupid lately (which happens every day, but every couple of months I'll get honestly concerned that I'm getting dumber), so I've been trying to expand my mind a bit. Wired.com has told me exactly how to do that in this series of articles. Next, while it's not mathematically based (or "accurate" per se), this flash animation describing how one should visualize the (a) tenth dimension is a must-watch. It tends to meander a bit from the intended topic, but it's all interesting and good for mental gymnastics. Another flash animation (taken from this way cool collection of physics-related animations) will bend your mind with a great, intuitive explanation of the "Twin Paradox" - an example of the relativistic Doppler effect. I've heard this explained before, but the visuals really make this peculiar paradox easier to grasp. Also, Bill Nye the Science Guy has a sweet site.

On the lighter side, musicovery.com is a very cool site that lets you input your mood and then it selects and plays (entire) songs to suit your state of mind.

Lastly (for now), if you're into movie mistakes, here they all are and here's a funny site that condenses popular movies into a minute. Here's a sample:

The Sixth Sense

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Ultra-Condensed by Derek Richardson

---

Haley Joel Osment

I see dead people.

Bruce Willis

Try talking to them.

Haley Joel Osment

It worked.

THE END

The Top Gun one is pretty funny too, as are many of the others. Well, that's it for now; keep your eyes peeled in the next week or so as there will be some big changes around here. Or not.