It's happened...

Jason Giambi, before and after... or did I mess up the order? I can't even tell.

So the big Mitchell Report has been released listing "all" of the Major League Baseball players who used heroin I mean crack I mean steroids, and I must say, I am shocked. Literally, shocked. No real surprises on the list, but a few surprises left off the list. I'm not going to say who they are, because that might give you, the reader(s?), the sense that I care about baseball at all, which is false. All I'm going to say is that around the time Bonds was nearing the record, I saw a clip of him up to bat and a few fans in the crowd had a huge banner that said, "Babe Ruth did it on hotdogs and beer." I thought that was pretty funny. Oh, and I will also say that I think his record should get an asterisk, or should I say ass-terisk.

I think the biggest issue with this whole thing is that it's such a huge issue. I mean, yeah, these jerks are supposedly role models for children and all that, but being disappointed in our role models is neither new, nor is it confined in any way to baseball (ahem, Kobe Bryant [maybe I should just say "the NBA"]). And, yeah, the drugs are illegal and they've all but destroyed "America's pastime" (though it was the fact that the games are 7 hour snore-fests that ruined it for me). But what I really don't understand is why Congress is so heavily involved with this whole thing. They have invested so many hours and tax dollars that could have been put to better use in any of a hundred ways that I just really can't stomach the whole thing. I mean, the average Congressman works like 3 hours every other week, it seems like they might be able to form a slightly more useful sub-committee - perhaps they could probe something else, like getting re-elected to keep doing nothing, or the rapidly decreasing size of "fun-sized"
candy bars (seriously, have you noticed that? it's hardly worth it for me to trick-or-treat anymore). At any rate, I definitely don't want this blog to turn into a sports column, both because I don't know that much about sports, and because professional athletes can be some of the most discouraging, disgusting examples of humanity at its worst (with notable exceptions). I just thought we should all take a moment to morn the death of baseball's innocence - I know you were all as surprised as I was hear that all of those massive, frighteningly muscular behemoths are taking steroids in spite of the fact that doing so is prohibited.

btw, if you are so inclined, here's a site with a bunch of pictures of MLB guys before and after they started juicing. Pretty impressive stuff, especially seeing Barry Bonds dressed as a woman.